


Don't Cry

by seriousfangirl97



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Other, Self-Reflection, Yurio's grateful for his friends, and he thinks about them, he's dreaming for most of the fic tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 20:59:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10049021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seriousfangirl97/pseuds/seriousfangirl97
Summary: Now that Yuri's 16, he decides its the right time to reflect on his life.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Yurio's been thinking a lot, focusing more on his past in this fic. 
> 
> It's been a while, but I wanted to celebrate Yuri's birthday with a fic!!  
> So here it is.~ 
> 
> This fic is based off of a wonderful piece of fanart that is linked as follows:  
> http://tsuyers.tumblr.com/post/152225363626/dont-cry  
> The art is by the owner of the blog, Tsuyer.

If I could look back at myself and say what I know now, I would. There's so much that has made me so brash, so many regrets, and so much emotion that could be redirected to make me stronger. But I now know this, and it is what fuels my future.

I am Yuri Plisetsky and my past self was driven by anger.

If I were to look back at my four year old self, I would see him crying. Crying and angry that his mother, my mother, did not directly support my dreams. She supported them through words and some money, but words and money don't show support for a four year old. Being around for the kid does.

She was seldom around, always handling something with her past idol career, or at work… Always away. Never near for a hug, or for my ice skating lessons. Never around for a bedtime story because she was always too tired from her day, and would end up falling asleep before me. She always made sure there was food on the table, a warm home, bills paid, and I never realized this, until now. I never noticed because of my inability to be more compassionate. That inability would have been my downfall, had I not realized my mistakes sooner.

My mother is hard working, I didn't see that… I only saw her leaving after grandpa would come over. She would kiss my forehead and smile down at me, apologizing that she couldn't show up to my lessons that day, or how she didn't have time to make breakfast.

Four year old me only saw her leaving, and I would cry when I couldn't hold it any more. My grandpa would always rush in without fail and cradle me, soothingly rubbing my back until I calmed down. Afterwards, he would sit me on his lap and give me a piece of candy that was always in his pocket.

"Wh-why? Why does mommy hate me?" I would say every time I cried, every time mommy left.

My grandpa would sigh heavily, looking down at me with a small frown. "Now, Yurotchka… Tell me why do you think she hates you?"

I would look up at him, I would cry a bit more, and I would say, "Be-because she isn't here. "

My grandpa would wipe my nose, a relaxed frown on his face. "Don't you see, Yurotchka? It's because she loves you that she isn't home. Look at that nice Television or that food in the fridge. She makes sure that you, her only child, is safe in this nice cozy house. She works hard for your happiness, and only for you, Yuri."

I would nod and calm down for a while, but as soon as a week or two passed, I would get upset again. I was four, and I didn't notice anything I couldn't see immediately.

What hurt me further was at the rink and at school. I was never good at making friends, most of the kids were too absorbed in the friends they already had from their preschool classes. They were too preoccupied to acknowledge me. And I was too proud to try and get their attention, even at four.

Being lonely at school and teased on the rink made me harden my exterior by the time I was five or six. No one bothered to talk to me, and I didn't want to talk to them. The teachers and my skating instructor, before Coach Yakov, were the only ones that spoke to me because they had to.

I would cry because I felt lonely, and left out. I hated that feeling so much, but it's made me into who I am today, so I know now that my loneliness was a necessary evil. Knowing this still wouldn't stop me from consoling my younger self. If I could, I would look back at myself, kneel down and take my smaller self into my arms and stop his crying. I would hug him and calm his sobs. "Don't cry… Everything is going to be better, I promise." I would reassuringly tell my younger self. "Keep working hard, you've got your mom and grandpa. Soon you'll have some friends, and a bunch of loving fans… and then some. But love your family."

Would my younger version ask about my, no… Our friends? Would I be able to tell him none of them are his age like he wished so dearly? Probably not; I would, however, be able to tell him that all of his friends are kind, and I would warn him to be kind. That these people care for him in the same way our grandpa and our mother does.

If I were to successfully reassure my younger self as I am, at the new age of 16, would that show that I am no longer the overly confident child I was a year ago? Would that show my growth as a person?

If I were to look forward at my older self, I would ask him these questions, and much more. What advice would he have for me? Would he even look back at me? Would he tell me what I need to hear or would he just brush me off?

I would tug on his arm, making him turn to me, and I would demand answers. I guess that part of me still has to grow up… Part of  me still has to grow into the person I wish to be; the mature, responsible, and approachable older me.  I want to grow into someone people can look up to like Viktor, or be dependable like Yuuri.  I want to know what kind of person I'm going to become.

My older self would probably tell me that the friends that I've earned are invaluable, and that they've made me stronger. Maybe I've made them stronger too? Now that I know them better, I want to support them, especially Yuuri… I want to see him, and the others blossom and become the phenomenal skaters that I know they are. "And they will, and so will you. Just be patient and keep your head up."

My older self would say to me.

 "You're who you are because you don't give up. Keep that attitude with you, it's stuck with me and I'm doing just fine."I would ask him about all that I want to know, like is my mom around more? How's grandpa's back? What would happen to my relationship with my friends? Would there be any major changes?

He would look back at me and smile. A genuine smile, something I've been hiding without realizing it, something I've missed so dearly.

"Everything you need to know is already inside you. It's a half assed answer but I don't want to spoil your future's surprise… Just be patient. Now… Wake up, Yuri"

I stared at him before feeling myself stir, our surroundings fading to black, then to white. I woke up to a flash, and a giggle. And the feeling of being warm. "h-huh?"

Mila laughed quietly, continuing to take pictures. "Oh Yuri!~ You guys look so cute all gathered there!!"

"You guys? All?" I thought to myself, suddenly becoming aware of the feeling of another person's, no people's, breathing. I tilted my head to my right and saw Yuuri sleeping, his head resting on my shoulder. I had also become aware of an arm draped around Yuuri, most likely belonging to Viktor, who was probably asleep by the sounds of his snoring… Yuuri's had been hugging me in his sleep, something that I will not get used to so easily.

They act as though I'm their son… I find it annoying as hell but it feels nice…

I sighed, glaring up at Mila trying to raise my left arm to flip her off, before realizing that I couldn't. I looked to my left and saw a girl about my age, snuggled against me, her hand holding mine. She was sound asleep (Or so I thought) while holding onto one of my cat plushies. Yuki… It's incredible how she's managed to pry me open, making smile more, making me enjoy even the simplest things in life.

I kissed her forehead, earning a squeal from Mila, Georgi laughing in the background.

"I got that on video! Georgi this is gonna go viral!!" Mila had grinned, rushing away before I could get up.

Georgi then chuckled, shaking his head. "I can see the headlines: Russian punk has a heart!"

"Fuck both of you, you hear me!!" I called out, momentarily forgetting my sleeping friends were surrounding me.

Friends… I never really addressed them as that… Only when I became protective over them or inside that dream, but to hear myself refer to them as that felt right somehow.

Yuki woke up to Georgi and Mila's banter, looking up at me. "Yura?~ You're awake? What's all the noise about?"

I looked down at Yuki, smiling softly. "Mila and Georgi are just being asses… why did you three decide it was a good idea to crowd around me and sleep, anyways?"

Yuki had smiled, looking at me, a sparkle in her eyes. "We just wanted to spend some time with you, Yura.~ What were you dreaming about? You were crying in your sleep…"

I frowned, staring at her before looking away. "I… I was dreaming about my childhood…"

Without realizing, tears began to stream down my face, surprising Yuki as well as myself.

"Yuri… Don't cry… It was just a dream… And it's just the past," She sat up to hug me, dropping the plushie on my lap. "Focus on the present… There so many great things happening now."

Yuuri's head drooped onto the plushie on my lap, still asleep. I continued to hug Yuki, my tears slowing down. "I have to thank you… And those asses over there… And these geezers. "Yuki tilted her head, looking at me. "What for, Yuri? What have we done to deserve thanks?"

"For being there for me… For caring…"

Yuki giggled, nudging me and causing me to laugh. "You've only been 16 for a day and you're already sappy, and acting more mature.~ It's cute."

"Cu-Cute!?"

**Author's Note:**

> In case you didn't notice, The lines Yurio says to his younger self are monologue said by Yurio in the art, verbatim. As a brief disclaimer: I did not have any effect on this wonderful art (Why would I? lol) BUT the art did impact me enough that I couldn't stop thinking about it until I completed this story.  
> Please remember to leave a comment with feedback, and if you liked it and want more, please don't hesitate to tell me! Even if you're an unregistered reader. :D  
> And in case anyone wants my fanwork Tumblr, it's http://seriousfg97.tumblr.com/


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